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On the agenda today: Overwhelm vs Stress | On Nomadic Work | *Don't* Take Notes! | Book of the Week

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BITS AND BOBS

• We all know that useless meetings waste time (and money), but the pressure to attend them anyway is felt more by women than men in the workplace.
• Overwhelm vs. Stress (why it matters and what to do).
• "We say we don't have a dress code in tech and we pretend to have an inclusive culture but in fact we do and this dress code and culture disproportionately affects women." Software developer Purity Birir shares her thoughts and experience of being a woman in the tech space and how unspoken rules on appearance have a big impact. We love that she closes with, "If you want to slay code in heels do it."
• ​Could moral burnout be impacting your work motivation?
• October was long, here's a giggle.
• ​As of today, New York will require employers to disclose a "good faith salary range for every job, promotion, and transfer opportunity advertised." How would having access to this information impact your career progression as you explore internal and external opportunities? Let us know here!
• Shall we close this section with some terrible advice for women in the workplace? Yes.

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Circe Member Highlight: Anne Enberg

Anne Enberg runs ASWE Consulting, LLC, where she advises organizations (usually in the tech space) on marketing, growth, and general management. Before she started her consulting business, Anne worked at Castlight Health, BCG, and Google, and she received her MBA from Harvard Business School. She now lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband, their two little boys, and a surly, but lovable, dog.

Find out more about Anne here!

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Nomadic Work: Why We Dig It

Nomadic lives and careers are not a new concept and, at Circe, we think they’re quite female-forward. While we credit the pandemic for popularizing and creating more access to remote work, tech-enabled nomadic careers have grown since the original Internet boom in the 90s. We are major proponents of nomadic work for its inherent promise to boost your career, your personal capital, and to fill your life with community, culture, and intellectual growth. We share with you our data-backed and experience-validated case for nomadic work below:

Competitive skills: International experience enables you to expand your market expertise through multi-cultural and operational fluency. Working in new regions exposes you to a variety of advanced processes and complex work structures. Collaboration across teams and time zones are critical skills in a connected business world and nomadic work creates immersive opportunities while offering a competitive edge on your resume. For years, data has shown that international experience is highly desirable to employers. This year 72% of executives consider "the ability of their people to adapt, reskill and assume new roles" as the most or second most important factor to navigate future disruptions. The skills you gain when working outside of your native habitat directly illustrate your agility and adaptability.

The currency of choice: Nomadic work exposes you to the ways in which other people and cultures fit work into their lives. Circe Co-founder, Jade, moved to Hong Kong for work ten years ago. Moving to Asia alone was intimidating, and with virtually no network, she was forced to start fresh. She uncovered a world where career and personal life not only coexisted but were encouraged to share space. Her coworkers created an earnestly friendly, hospitable landing and helped her navigate a new world. Jade’s manager guided her down the windy path to a hidden vegan restaurant near the office and later showed her the joy of weekend hikes to Shek O Beach with their dogs. Jade reversed her "very American" view on keeping work and personal spheres mutually exclusive, and cherishes the dissonance she challenged and embraced in changing that perspective.

Circe co-founder, Bobbi-Jo, on the other hand, came to nomadic work as a happy accident after facing gender- and race-based discrimination in corporate America. For her, carving her own path Eat, Pray, Love-style served as a way to reclaim her agency and autonomy while re-defining what success meant for her personally. Working in Australia, New Zealand, and ultimately the United Kingdom came with a unique set of challenges and opportunities that allowed her to launch and grow successful businesses, a healthy set of boundaries, and an ever-growing network that wouldn't have seemed available along a traditional career journey.

We understand nomadic work may not be appealing or possible to everyone, and we understand it may not be an opportunity open to you in this season of your life and career. But if it is, we encourage you to try on the idea and explore the world outside the one you know. And when you do, we want to hear about your experience.

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I often struggle with being direct and providing direction without coming off too "aggressive". Any tips?

A great first question to ask yourself is what do you mean by "struggle"? Are you feeling uncomfortable? Are you feeling as though you are doing something wrong by being direct? Is your nervous system doing something funny? Do you feel stressed out? We ask these questions to get to the root of why you feel that being direct, which is often a kindness, translates for you as potentially "aggressive". A favorite (final!) question is: Who told you that? Has someone reacted in the past to your directness as though you were being aggressive or did you perceive their reaction that way?

But! You asked for tips, not more questions, so let's get to the good stuff.

• Keep in mind that someone else's reaction is not your responsibility. As long as you're clear and treating the other party with dignity and respect, their reaction is theirs. Not everyone can take correction or guidance, but that doesn't mean you've done anything wrong by performing a very basic function of working with or managing others.
• Own your part. If you feel aggressive – as in, you actually feel bothered, upset, and frustrated and that's manifesting in your tone and language – you should examine how you got there. Are you currently dealing with a problem made bigger by not being direct at an earlier opportunity?
• Trust your gut and ask for feedback. "Aggressive" is an interesting word choice because in the workplace it can be incredibly gendered. Women are often coded as "aggressive" or "bossy" simply because they exist and we've yet to invent a magic wand to fix that particular structural issue. If something feels off about a reaction you've gotten to direct feedback and it feels gendered, don't talk yourself out of naming a spade a spade. And, when in doubt, ask for feedback from someone outside of the situation.
• Finally, give yourself permission to have the emotion and response. A lot of what bubbles up as anger or "aggression", when it's actually happening, is that we've suppressed the primary frustration. If something has gone wrong, it's OK to be annoyed by that. If someone is undermining your authority, you have full permission to feel upset. If someone dropped a very important glass ball? Asking them to pick it up and fix it is a reasonable response to that scenario.

There's a balance of internal work and external feedback at play when communicating with others that can feel tricky to get right. The wonderful news is that you don't have to be perfect, you just have to try your best to move with integrity and clarity.

Have a question for our experts? Drop us a line!

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Book of the Week

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