Flip the script and Think Again
On the agenda today: Hope is the thing with feathers | Dealing with a Micromanager | Think Again
BITS AND BOBS
- An incident from 2017 reminds us of the power in allyship: 95% of the workforce of the Woolwich Ferry were set to strike after a female member of staff made a formal complaint of sexual harassment.
- "Men felt worse about themselves when their partners succeeded than when their partners failed." Whew.
- Okay, this is the last link that, at times, might make you want to rip out your eyelashes but is actually an incredible and important conversation: Viral Success and Public Divorce.
- Thread Guys have taken over Twitter, but this Thread Guy gives some practical advice on preparing for an interview.
- "I now know that by quitting my job, I wasn’t running away from work. Instead, I sacrificed pieces of my comfort for a short while in order to ensure I’d have a career that I’d get to enjoy — because while I’m ambitious and love what I do, I refuse to die for it."
- This is so pure and wonderful.
- Hope is the thing with feathers and 50 poems to boost your mood.
- Want a look at the first pitch decks of some unicorns? Here's Tinder's and here's Uber's.
- She fell nearly 2 miles and walked away. (Here's a written version.)
- Esther Perel teaches relational intelligence.
- Are you following Circe on Instagram? You should be!
Circe Member Highlight: Faye Keane
Faye is a Community Development Officer at Severnside Community Rail Partnership which involves engaging people with their railway stations through workshops, art schemes and days out on the trains. Upon graduating from University College Falmouth, Faye became more involved in community art and facilitating creative youth programmes which led to her interest in wider community engagement. Still a Brummie at heart but living in Bristol for almost 15 years with her partner and their dog Bandit.
| Find out more about Faye here! |
How do I approach personal development and advancement when my boss is a micromanager?
The following is an edited transcript of a coaching interaction between a member and an expert. It is reposted with permission and highlights the importance of having a neutral sounding board that can help you tease out the question behind the question. In this case, the coachee's initial question opened the door to explore other factors that were impacting her capacity to stay empowered in a frustrating professional environment.
How do I approach personal development and advancement when my boss is a micromanager?
What sort of micromanaging? And how are you generally responding now when it happens, if at all?
Like trying to be involved in all my deals when in other regional teams people usually work more independently and it’s more clear who achieved what. I’ve generally accepted his "we’re a team" approach because I have one foot out the door but another great offer hasn’t come through just yet.
What would it look like for you feel more autonomous?
Well I feel like in general I ask where the paper clips are because I’m new and his response is instead of saying, "Oh. the 2nd floor closet," is to arrange a special task force meeting with the office supplies manager, not invite me, and then bring the paper clips to my desk. So the next time I need one I still don’t know where they are.
How would being able to advance and develop in that environment impact your hope to leave if a good offer materializes?
To be honest, it wouldn’t but I’m viewing it really as a training ground for trying to cultivate power because I’m not very good at that. I want to leave because my income needs to at least double and I don’t think this company has opportunities for that.
Ok! So it's actually a great environment to build this muscle then, as you aren't attached to a positive outcome with your current employer. How would it feel to assume the best of intentions and operate from that space? As in, "I appreciate the effort you put into making sure that I got these paper clips! I want to make sure that I succeed in this role and can manage these types of things without pulling you away from more important tasks. If I need more paperclips in the future, where should I look first?"
I know we aren't talking about paperclips, it's never about the paperclips like it's never about the dishes. "We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intent." Can flipping that help you at least reduce your frustration on these interactions until your second foot is out the door? "They probably mean well, and I have the paperclips now. Let's go."
I assume the worst intentions from everyone. Maybe that’s a place to start.
That's a lot of storm clouds to walk amongst. Do you find that you get out of bed in the morning with ill intentions for others?
Mostly, no.
I'd start small. Assume people like you and want the best for you, not for their sake but for yours. That should free up more of your energy for the personal development and doing your actual work. Then you can re-assess and course correct where needed.
This is the right thing to do and I'll start there.
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Book of the Week
Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know Intelligence isn't just what you know, often it's what you don't know. Recognizing when we need to take a step back and unlearn something is a vital building block to success, good relationships, and overall satisfaction. Adam Grant's "argue like you're right but listen like you're wrong" approach is refreshing, research-based, and eye-opening.
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